But what exactly does it mean to be “successful?”

Success, as defined in Sheryl’s new book, Lean In, has a lot to do with being in the upper ranks of your industry.  To get to a place like this, she encourages women to “lean in.” At work, she encourages us to go for the promotion and all that it carries with it.  This package usually includes long hours, high stress, little work-life balance, managing complicated employees. . . and the list goes on!

Maybe that sounds like success to you, and maybe you want to “lean in” and go for it! And if that works for you, that’s great. I honestly applaud you.  You are probably more of an “executive type,” and Sheryl is expressing a vision that resonates with that type.

(BTW, I have a whole system of feminine “types” that I’ll share in upcoming blogs. Understanding your feminine type can help you to crack the code on creating a life that is meaningful to you and others who share your type.  But I digress…)

But Sheryl’s version of success doesn’t ring true for ME. Not at all!  It feels about as interesting as a Sunday afternoon dedicated to that dingy pile of last month’s laundry. My excitement meter is at sub-zero.

So what’s wrong with me?  Aren’t those things that we are SUPPOSED to want in our life?

After a bit of introspection (and many cups of tea), I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing is wrong.  I am just different type of woman.  And I have a different vision of what success means to me.

Let me explain.

For me, instead of leaning in, it’s about leaning INWARD.

My model of success includes waking up most days to my body’s own rhythm-no shrill rip of an alarm for me! It includes having time to meander through nature several times each week and enjoying the shades of green as light passes through leaves.

It includes having time DAILY to feed my feminine-self and enjoy the sweet perfume and gentle lick of coconut oil on my naked skin after a shower. (Check out my blog at www.devaa.com for more on this topic.  I could write a whole book on this one!)

Success to me includes sitting at my harmonium keyboard and pecking out a hot new song that lifts my pulse, instead of letting my creativity go underground (like I see happen with so many friends).

It means having a marriage where I still smile ear to ear upon seeing my sweetie walk through the front door after being apart just a few hours.  It means having the strength in my relationships to let a dear one know when I feel pissed with her or him-and working it through until love is restored.

And yes, it’s also about reaching more women with my Soulful Women work and my alchemical music, both of which I truly love. And though these pursuits require quite a lot of my time, they are actually a small piece of my overall vision for my life.

In this regard, I had an AHA moment when I was in a peer circle one day.  Everyone was talking about business plans. And something just wasn’t adding up for me. Then I realized that:

A great business plan does NOT equal a great life plan!

Instead, we have to create our life plan first!  Then . . . and only then, we fit our business plan inside of our life plan.

I know this sounds so obvious. But I’ve witnessed many entrepreneurs, including myself, loose sight of this simple truth.

So I’m going to continue to lean inward.  And anyone who is interested in a deeply feminine, soul-nourishing, intimacy-building, tear-jerking, laughter-inducing community of women to birth the next version of yourself, are welcome to join me on this wild adventure.

It’s good to know I am not alone.

**Note: This is the sort of topic we are exploring with an amazing roster of speakers, along with break-out sessions for participants, in this year’s Inspiring Women’s Summit.

We’d love to have you join us!  Go to www.inspiringwomensummit.com 

As women, we often have a hard time expressing or even admitting to what we want. Once you realize how powerful you are as a manifestor of your own thinking (at some level, our life is a reflection of our thoughts) and take an honest look at the unconscious mental shadow programs that are playing in your life you can begin to uncover the thoughts in your mind that seduce you towards old dysfunctional behaviors and ego patterns. It is these shadows that affect why you would choose not to exist where you are not experiencing pleasure.

From here you learn to ask yourself:

• Is this fun?
• Does this feel good?
• Does this taste good?

As you allow yourself to ask these questions, you tap into the amazingly accurate information that is held in your feeling body within different states of feeling. In the Rite Of Real Nurturance you are going to be inviting yourself to listen to those feeling states.

Whenever limiting thoughts come up, acknowledge them and then let go.

Begin by gathering your sensory items:

1. Taste. Find something that tastes wonderful to you, even decadent. Let go of any guilt or negative feelings you may have surrounding food. Let your intuition guide you as to which food to use for this exercise. For me, this is often chocolate!
2. Smell. Use whatever smell stirs your soul or that you associate with positive memories or emotions. It may be your favorite perfume, incense, or essential oil.
3. Touch. Find an item that helps you feel good in your skin but offers a strong sensation, such as a feather, ice cube, or piece of silk.
4. Sound: What sounds entice you to move or go into a reflective state? Maybe it’s a piece of music or your own instrument, or the sounds of nature.

For every sensory item you experience in this rite, you are going to commune with it, and bless it for its beauty, for all that it is, and for its desire to embody, as a part of you, the living goddess. Invite yourself to really go into the feeling state of fully enjoying a sensation. Allow the judgments (this is high fat, selfish, indulgent, etc.), to have no voice and let yourself really commune with your chosen sensory item and let it become a part of your being. It wants to commune with you.

In your mind, ask the item to resonant within your body. Invite the substance to match the frequency of your body and move into a similar vibration. You don’t need to know how to do this with your conscious mind, just trust that something begins to happen as you ask the item to create the highest harmony, balance, and unity in your being so that alchemy can take place, turning it into the most refining vibration and light as it enters your body.

Ask your body to release or let go of anything that is being held, subconsciously or consciously, as a belief or a cellular memory that would intensify the substance. Release anything that comes into your awareness: this is too high calorie; I don’t deserve this; or any images from the past.

Before you engage with each sense, take a moment to open all your senses, tune in, and allow yourself to surrender into the ecstasy that is already in your body. Surrender into the open joyful energy moving through your body. You may feel a rush of energy that moves up and down like a wave through your body or subtle waves of light. You may feel a little lighter. With every breath, say silently, “I invite this frequency of ecstasy. I invite my body to vibrate and open to this frequency of ecstasy.”

It may seem simple, but often times we don’t give ourselves space to really experience what is right in front of us. As we cultivate our ability to experience and hold all this pleasure, we fan the inner flame of our being.

Taste: Slowly put the food into your mouth and fully experience the sense of taste. If you allow yourself, the sense of taste can be a portal into the whole realm of ecstasy, but you must be open fully to it. Breathe deeply and open to the sensation of taste.

Smell: Take your chosen smell, bring it to your nose, and let yourself fully expand to receive that smell. Notice the frequency of that smell and the vibration it carries. Does the smell permeate your being? Is it sublime? Is it stimulating? Is it positive?

Touch: Caress yourself with your chosen item. Is it a bit surprising like an ice cube? Let it drip gently on your skin. Tickle yourself with a feather, or drape fabric across your inner forearm. Caress the palm of your hand with your fingers. Take a few minutes to fully experience your connection and experience with touch.

Sound: Listen to your sound. What emotions does it evoke in you? Where does that emotion live your body? Do you merge with the sound?

Allow yourself to be nurtured and nourished by your own senses. Become more radiant through the ecstasy of the senses. As you experience this ecstasy, breathe it down all the way through your body.

Eventually, we hear a car on the gravel outside, and then the cheerful voice don Alejandro, a well-respected Elder of the Mayan people. He’s an older man, and quite small. Wearing a wry smile, he enters the hut and walks into the embracing arms of our host, Grandmother Flordemayo of the Council of 13 Indigenous Grandmothers.

Don Alejandro begins to share with us about this crucial period in history. It’s the end of a 5,200 year calendar cycle for the Mayan people. And while the outside world is filled with fear and concern about the end of this era, don Alejandro shares a different perspective.

“So, what should we expect with the end of this era and the beginning of a new one,” I ask him. He explains that there is no reason to be afraid, though he does admit there will probably be some major issues we must face in the next fifty years. But from his perspective the biggest change has to do with the shift from masculine to feminine leadership. He explained that men have ruled for the last 5,200 years, and now it’s time for the men to support the women in our full power.

Though we don’t all know it yet, we are gathered for a very important ceremony. And very soon, all the men at our gathering would be meeting separately to plan this ceremony, in order to symbolically transfer the staff of power from the men to the women.

This event, totally orchestrated by the men of many different backgrounds, was totally unexpected for me, and so beautiful.

At the time of the ceremony, we were greeted by Marshall Jack, a Native American elder who played his drum to call us all into the ritual space. The could hear sweet sound of native flute hanging in the air. And we were each escorted around an outdoor sacred circle by Sequoia Trueblood, another Native elder. He placed each of us onto a grid of energy marked on the Earth, and gave us each a simple bouquet of flowers to celebrate this transition.

As the drum sounded in a heart-beat rhythm, Mr. Jack spoke with a deep, resonant cadence that was a balm for my soul. He apologized deeply, from his heart, for the ways women have been disregarded and disempowered. He asked for forgiveness for atrocities like the Inquisition. He said “No MORE! Those days are over, and shall NOT come to pass again!” He asked for the support of all of our ancestors to cleanse the wounds we had each suffered as women.

I felt a tear well up in my eye and roll down my face. To hear these words from such a kind and generous older man struck a very deep chord. Blessings were shared by the women and men alike.

And then the men declared that it is women’s turn to lead this planet. And they gently passed Flordemayo, as a representative for the women, a hand carved wooden staff of power, carefully crafted for this occasion. The staff was simple and about the length of my forearm. It was a bit smaller than I would have imagined for such an occasion, but it was beautiful. And it was swaddled with many colorful pieces of yarn which accompanied the ceremony and absorbed its blessing power.

At the end of the ceremony, each woman present was asked if she was willing to take-on a “clan” for the coming era. Those of us who answered “yes” were each declared a “Clan Mother” were given a thread from this Mother staff. I decided to take up the charge, along with other women. We were then each invited to create our own daughter staffs and to cultivate our “tribes” of women and men. We were encouraged to circle with others and to empower other Clan Mothers through time. And it was suggested that we each register our new clans at an official office for tribal recognition.

As I carry this deep blessing from the men in my heart, I am reminded of a phrase spoken by Marianne Williamson when I interviewed her for our Inspiring Women Summit. She said (paraphrasing) “Women have the power. Now we must be willing to USE OUR POWER.” Indeed.

I would add that we must use our power WISELY. It’s not about trying to turn the tables, toss out the men, and have female dominance everywhere.

No. In my opinion, such a stance will not heal our hearts and create a thriving planet. That would instead just be a recapitulation of an old paradigm.

This new era, marked by the end of 2012, is about creating true balance of the masculine and the feminine. And let us not forget that men too can cultivate a strong feminine energy, while most women in leadership roles today have plenty of masculine energy. So let this next era of 2013 be a time when we really explore how to harmonize these energies for the greatest good.

I welcome and look forward to this experiment. And I know many men do as well.

Yet as women like me have attempted to live into this paradigm, many of us have realized that we have to become Superwoman to do it. And though we’ve tried very hard, living as Superwoman has been very elusive and even impossible. It has always felt just out of reach.

Unfortunately, trying to be Superman is not much easier.

Many folks have felt ashamed or saddened by our inability to fully live up to this Super-human ideology.  Others have succeeded in some areas and paid the price in others.

Take me for example.  I worked very hard to earn high accolades and pursue an entrepreneurial career that I truly love. But in the process, I pushed too hard for too long, and ended-up burning out my adrenal glands. And it’s taken quite a long time for my body to recover. In fact, years later, I am still recovering.

So when Anne-Marie Slaughter published her recent article “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” in Atlantic Magazine, it struck a chord in me. And I was obviously not alone.  The article has catalyzed quite a lively conversation about what IS and what IS NOT possible for women who attempt to balance demanding careers with other life priorities-especially kids. (**Note, if you missed the Atlantic article, you can check it out here: http://bit.ly/LgipnR)

But for all the conversation that’s been brewing, it seems that one critical topic that hasn’t gotten much attention: what does it truly mean to “have it all?”  Is having work-family balance the “be all end all” of a meaningful and happy life? While this balance is certainly critical, I personally want to invite us into an even greater possibility.

As I think about the women we’ve served in our Soulful Women programs, they are often seeking deeper meaning for their lives. They are seeking to make a contribution with their unique gifts and talents.  They are seeking authentic connections and community with other like-minded and like-hearted people.

Yes, they want aligned work and enough time for their families. But the conversation is much bigger than balancing work and kids.  It’s about re-defining success-on our own terms!  This is a conversation I’ve been spawning in various leadership circles in which I participate. And it generated a lively dialogue with Lisa Nichols, which is now a centerpiece of a course I am hosting with her through the Shift Network (check out www.yourbreakthroughlife.com).

Lisa and I agree that instead of adopting someone else’s viewpoint about the appropriate priorities for someone of our demographic, let’s each map it out for ourselves.

Given our unique lives and values, “having it all” will look very different for each person.  For my friend Suraya, it includes being a great mama to her baby boy while she does drama-therapy work with inmates at the San Quentin prison (Check out her amazing project, where I’m now volunteering: http://www.indiegogo.com/prisonbridges)

Or for some other folks I know, success means having a schedule where you can spend multiple hours each day in meditation or in the garden, while just earning enough to keep the lights on.  Another person may instead value having a six-figure income, while taking 6 weeks of vacation per year. Another might define success as riding her bike to and from work and working to pass legislation for more “green” governmental policies.  And for yet another, success might be having both the time AND the energy to care for an ailing family member.  The possible “having it all” scenarios are endless.

So Instead of complaining that we’ve been “sold a fiction” by elder feminists who asserted “we can have it all,” let’s reclaim our power by re-defining success-on our own terms!  What does success look like to you?

I believe we CAN still have it all. But “having it all” may mean something very different to people today than it meant when we were growing up.  And as we set our own standards for success, we give ourselves permission to have much more satisfying, joyful lives. Now who doesn’t want THAT?

I end-up in the stairwell of the parking garage.  It’s stark and very dimly lit, but it’s the only place I can find to be alone. So I begin doing my vocal warm-ups.  I am just hoping that no-one walks into the stairwell and hears the strange sounds coming from my mouth.  It’s all clear for about 5 minutes, and then the workers begin going home at the end of the day. I feel the heat in my face as I attempt to explain myself and the strange sounds.  Feeling ridiculous, I just stop and wait until the halls are empty again.   I check my watch.  It’s now just a few minutes before the show is slated to begin. Where has the time gone?

As I sit in the audience, I try to stay calm, wanting to enjoy the various speakers and performances.  But I can feel my whole body sweating.  I ask myself why I ever agreed to sing this song that I had written so recently and performed only once before (in front of friends).   Tonight is a whole different ball game, and I don’t feel ready.  I am wearing this white and gold outfit that I worry looks too New Agey.  But it is too late to change my clothes.  I must ignore the butterflies in my stomach. I’ve got to just go for it!

I am alone on the stage, with all 22,000 eyes on me. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and I am desperately listening to find the beat of the music. But the room is full of echoes, and it’s hard to hear.   I am a little off tempo.  But I have to keep going. There’s one of the world’s best keyboard players, Freddy Ravel, in the audience.  I pull him on stage to join me, and his presence is a calming balm.  I try to relax and look natural, but my blood is still racing.  I desperately want to do a good job, so people really enjoy themselves.  And at the end of the song, people are standing up and dancing and clapping. There is a feeling of celebration in the air!

But my smile quickly fades few days later, when I am watching the video of the event.  My to do  summersaults as I listen and realize that I was actually off-pitch a few times.  Was THIS what I broadcasted to this huge audience? With these off-pitch places?  I feel a wave of nausea begin to move through my whole body.  I feel ashamed, and I want to hide or disappear from the Earth.

Then I begin to realize how much my inner critic can color my experience.  Though I had a truly celebratory night at the live event, when watching the video I was instead seeing through the harsh the eyes of judgment.  Perhaps ten percent of the performance was negative, while 90% was good. But that 10% caused me to label the whole performance as “terrible” and “embarrassing.”  And while this inner critic can be helpful as it helps me to hone and refine my gifts, when it’s in the driver’s seat it will usually destroy the precious seedlings of my hopes and dreams.

I have to remind myself that it’s NOT about being perfect.  And it IS about  each of us showing up fully and giving our soul gifts to the world.  I did show up to the best of my ability, and that’s enough.  Some may be critical, but for most people, it’s my humanity and willingness to play full out that makes a difference-not the perfection of my song.  In fact, I have been told that my humanity and my imperfection actually create a space to step forward and give their gifts, even while they are still in progress.  Who isn’t?

So let’s talk about you now.  What sort of message is your own inner critic giving you these days?  How much are you holding back your own precious gifts because you are worried that you aren’t good enough?  Or because you are scared of being judged?  We’ve all been told that we are our own worst critics.  And while we’ve heard it before, most of us (including me) have not been able to escape the critic’s clutches.  But that critic needs to move out from the driver’s seat of our life.  So here’s the real question.  Are you willing to be less than perfect in service of making a difference?

It’s time to really own the importance of the contribution you can make (or are already making) to humanity and our planet. I invite you to imagine the possibilities if you step fully into the POWER of your blessing force.  It’s time to embrace being “perfectly imperfect.” Even so, you can make a world of difference. I know it.

Reposted: From the Children of the Sun Foundation        

In order to get a perspective on the Venus transit, I think we need to get a better understanding of what the symbol of Venus represents. Once we know ‘who she is’ then we can go onto ‘how she moves’ and lastly but most important what is ‘she doing now’.

Venus is the brightest object in our sky, next to the Sun and the Moon.

Because it orbits in 224.7 days, it appears to us as both the morning star (Eosphorus) and the evening star (Hesperus). It looks all milky white, like the marble statues done by the Greeks.

Because of the differences in Gaea’s orbit and Venus’ orbit we hook-up five times in a cycle. There is a fabulous website that will satisfy even the most critical of researchers by Nick Anthony Fiorenza where many of the orbital images came from. Now you can see why the pentacle is associated with Goddess worship! It is the orbit and its relationship to Gaia! The most fundamental geometry which generates all life is based on the five pointed star in the circle. What most people don’t know is that this is the most fundamental of all 4-D symbols. The triangle is to 2-D, as the tetrahedron is to 3-D, as the pentatope is to 4-D… change your viewing angle on a pentatope and you have a pentacle.

The Orbit of Venus (the pentacle) is in fact the most basic of all hyper-dimensional shapes. It is found in all dimensions having platonic solids and is fundamental to going hyper-dimensional.

Goddess nurtures life, is the key to Love, the golden mean, and going hyper-dimensional.  So now let’s see how she is doing now.

Aphrodite, Venus, Ishtar, Astarte, Sif,  Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli (lord of the house of Dawns), and the Maya: Kulkulcan, all names of Venus, will cross in front of the sun on June 5/6th. This is what is called the transit of Venus. It is so rare because the next time this happens is 6872 AD. I don’t know about you but I hope I’m not around for the next one!

There are two eclipses preceding the Venus Transit, a Solar Eclipse which just occurred on the 20th of May and a partial Lunar Eclipse two days before Venus passes between the Earth and Sun on 4th June. I would rate this sequence of events the most significant astrological event of 2012.

During the Lunar Eclipse, the Moon will be in 14*13′ Sagittarius, opposing the Sun in 14*13′ Gemini. The eclipsed Moon and the Sun will be forming a square to Mars in Virgo and to the Arabic Part of Fortune in Pisces. Furthermore, retrograde Venus will be combust (conjunct; where the Sun superpowers Venus).

Venus eclipsing the Sun represents an awakening of the Divine Feminine energies in our world. For thousands of years, the world has been ruled by patriarchal societies.

On May 20th,  the Sun prepared the way for the entrance of the Goddess. At new moon/beginnings/eclipses there is honest communication and one last wake-up call two days before Venus parades before the Sun and she has decreed there must be an end to war…

With loving service to Gaea,
Aniel, Child of the Sun

Most of the leaders that surrounded me growing up were men.  Many wonderful men!  But they were men who embodied masculine leadership styles.  So for much of my life, I learned to emulate them.

In the corporate environment, I remember wearing a pants suit, tying back my hair, and wearing glasses so my “feminine side” would be less obvious.  I can recall my father telling me “you’ve got to be tough!”  And I learned to wear a more armored exterior.  I was trained in linear thinking, with a focus on efficiency and the bottom line. And I must say that cultivating these traits have served me in many ways. I probably wouldn’t be where I am today without them.

However, following that masculine roadmap also left me feeling unsatisfied.  But what does it mean to really embody feminine leadership?  It’s way deeper than being willing to wear a flowing dress to work or putting some flowers on your desk.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I think many of us are exploring this topic as we find authentic ways to present ourselves and lead in the world.  For me, it’s about showing-up with ALL of who I am, instead of trying to match a picture of how I am supposed to be as a leader.

I am someone who celebrates beauty and loves the arts.  I love to express myself in the way I dress, and I sometimes start our team meetings by getting everyone to sing with me. It’s a part of who I am, and other people seem to enjoy it too–even though it’s a bit different than the “norm” of work meetings.

Sharing deep connections with others brings me great joy, and I do my best to cultivate those connections with people at all different ranks in our company.  When it comes to strategy and decision-making, spending some time in meditation or really tapping my deepest intuition is usually way more important than consulting my calculator.

I also try to pay attention to my BODY and my very human feelings. What is my body telling me as I sit in our work meetings?  What’s really going on?  As I engage with our employees, I attempt to read between the lines to understand what’s real and how we create an environment where they can truly thrive.  I know that when everyone’s cup is full, the work we will produce will be that much better.

These are just a few of my thoughts. But I am actually MOST interested in a dialogue with you on this topic. What does it mean to YOU to embody feminine leadership principles? Who are your own role models in this regard?

I’ve started a discussion thread here: http://www.facebook.com/inspiringwomensummit

Please share your thoughts and let’s have a conversation about it!

To see a video I posted on this topic, go to: http://youtu.be/Dwz1qochyXE

I recently had a very humbling experience.  I was in Peru, where we’d gone to celebrate the dawn of 2012 with a bunch of friends.  We were slated to visit the ancient site of Machu Pichu and other mythic sites in the Sacred Valley and around Lake Titicaca. And we had also set-up some time to work with a few shamans from the area, who host an amazing 3-day healing journey that includes sound healing sessions for each participant.  Given that I run so many groups myself have a background in sound healing, I imagined that I’d be able to really help create the needed energetic container for the circle and even aid in the healing sessions.  But I was in for a big surprise!

When the day arrived for our awaited ceremony, I was feeling revved and ready!  Though it was the rainy season, the sky was clear–which was a true blessing giving we were planning to hold our circle outside. The trip was charmed!  And I felt joyful as I watched these young shamans lay out their many instruments on our makeshift altar of woven cloth.  First, there was a large drum made from a bull hyde.  When I took a whack at it, I heard a thunder with vibrations that echoed across the valley.  There were whistling water vessels that were sculpted from red-colored clay that make a high-pitched wailing sound.  And I watched the man, long hair glinting in the sunlight, gently unwrap a sort of pan pipe cut from bird feathers, followed by a huge horn painted to resemble a mythic dragon.  Finally came an instrument I’ve never seen.  It’s hard to describe, but when spun through the air, it makes a very ancient whirring sound–somewhat like a dijeridoo.  I was both excited and fascinated.

Our circle gathered together, sitting on the grass, surrounded by a ring of jagged and gorgeous mountains.  It seemed almost picture perfect.  And we began the prayers.  “Thank you Pachamama. Blessings PachaQuama,  We honor you Apus, Spirits of the Mountains. Great Spirit, Wiracocha, be here with us now.”  The shamans offered us coca leaves, which is a staple among Peruvians, and invited us to set our intentions and make our own offerings to the spirits of the land.

After the circle was underway, I walked over to another woman who seemed to be having a hard time to offer her my support.  She assured me she was OK.  And then all of a sudden, I found myself beginning to feel queasy. And then before I knew what hit me, I found myself lunging toward the bushes so I could vomit without disturbing the group.  Now this was a bit embarrassing. We had barely begun the ceremony. And yet, what could I do?

I went from feeling a bit nauseas to being completely incapacitated, laying belly to belly with the Earth.  The sun was out, and I was HOT, HOT, HOT!  I kept peeling off layer after layer of my clothing till I felt almost naked in the glaring sun.  I was warned that my lack of clothing could cause me to get a very bad sunburn in this thin atmosphere at high altitude.  But I could not get myself to put on more clothes.  In fact, I could not move. And while I knew it would be really good for me to re-join our circle, where the healing sessions were now taking place, my body felt paralyzed.

So I just laid there, like a worm.

And eventually my sweet sisters began to attend to me.  First came the water barons, who lovingly began applying cold towels to my head and to my body.  And I laid there, like a worm.

Next up were the mavens of sunblock, slathering my white skin to protect me from the very strong sun.  And I laid there, like a worm.

Eventually, I was so hot that I just had to get out of the sun. So I wiggled my way over to the only patch of shade nearby, which happened to be the open-air thatched roof structure that was covering the sewer. So I just sat there, on top of the sewer.  And when the next round of vomiting sent me off into the bushes again, I was thinking that being a worm would really be so preferable to my current state.

Back in the circle, people were clearly having profound healing journeys.  From afar, I watched as the shaman sang songs to one woman’s liver, helping her to clear years of ailment in her liver.  And another man in the circle wept as he personally took responsibility for the damage done to the planet by white males.

There was so much healing happening over there, I felt a little left out.  All this deep and profound experience coming through?  And here I was, sitting pathetically on the sewer drain.  This was not my picture of a magical journey with shamans.  In fact, my own experience was’t feeling magical at all. I just felt HOT and SICK.

Maybe you can relate.  Maybe there’s a situation in your own life that just DID NOT turn out the way you expected.  Maybe there’s a situation where, try as you might, you could not have things your way.  Maybe there’s a situation where you felt a bit humiliated, and there was nothing you could do about it.  If you have a life situation that comes to mind, please know that you are not alone. We are right there together!

While my inner child was busy complaining, my inner elder came to the rescue.  She asked me, “How could I create ‘lemonade’ from an experience that was tasting a lot like sour lemons?”  So I decided that instead of focusing on everything that was NOT happening for me, I began to put my attention on what WAS indeed happening. What wisdom could I possibly glean from this unpleasant experience?  And I began reflecting a bit more on my new friend, the worm.  What could I learn from the worm?

Humility was the first thing that came to mind.  This experience gave me a chance to strip away all the labels of “teacher” “guide” facilitator.”  I was none of those.  I also got to give up (at least temporarily ) the part of me that’s attached to “helping” someone else–because I really couldn’t do much at all on this day.  And I certainly was not very helpful.  I also had a great opportunity to let go of wanting to look good, as I stumbled around with my stinky breath, sweaty body and dis-shevled hair.  And while it was not a pretty site, it was also pretty freeing.

But most important for me, I was able to really open up to receive on a much deeper level.  I have been known to put up a bit of a guard or give the impression that I have it all together, but here my facade was pried loose.  I had no choice but to allow people take care of me and mother me–which is actually something I deeply desire.  I found that in my worm stage, I was actually quite an approachable snuggle-puss.  I kept finding myself in the center of a big snuggle pile, which was really very sweet.  I found that as my own vulnerability was more exposed, I experienced others being more vulnerable with me too, and so friendships deepened and softened.  Of course I have known this on a mental level, but this experience just underscored the point.

So while this experience was perhaps not “magical” and it was certainly not what I wanted or expected, it was actually quite valuable.  It made me realize that some of those things that I long for, like nurturing relationships and a deeper heart connection, are more easily fostered when I can embrace my worm nature.

I’ve decided that I rather like being a worm!  And this lemonade made from sour lemons–while perhaps an acquired taste–is actually very satisfying.

So the holiday season is upon us. And for those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere, nature is going into its dormant phase. Many of the trees are dropping their leaves and plants are pulling their energy inward and underground. When I walk out in my garden, it’s still. And it feels really good to have this space where quietude is the natural way of things.

Contrast that scene with our human norms during this time of year. For most people, it’s CRAZY BUSY. Stores are blaring holiday music and telling you there’s just a few shopping days left ’till Xmas. Companies are cranking away to make their end-of year financial goals. Families and friends are making plans to visit and celebrate. Social calendars are booking up.

And while our human ways can feel productive and even celebratory at holiday time, it’s also quite exhausting for most people. Wayne Muller, in his book called Sabbath: Restoring The Sacred Rhythm of Rest, puts it this way:

Our relentless emphasis on success and productivity has become a form of violence. We have lost the necessary rhythm of life, the balance between effort and rest, doing and not doing. Constantly striving, we feel exhausted and deprived in the midst of great abundance, longing for time with friends and family, longing for a moment to ourselves.

Not to mention that we are running COUNTER to the slower rhythms of nature at this time of year. Winter is meant of be a time of REST!

Yes, I said REST.

This is a word we seem to have forgotten in our fast-paced Western Culture. We are moving and lightning speed and multi-tasking like mad. We are doing MORE with LESS support. And most of us are really pretty tired.

Because we hardly stop to rest, most of us are deeply tired.

In nature, we celebrate the changing of the seasons. And every farmer knows that a recipe for getting an healthy abundant crop is to leave the fields fallow for a period of time. But it’s not that nothing is happening during these fallow periods. The soil is regenerating. The nutrients are building back up. The plants are building their internal infrastructure and their root system is expanding beneath the ground. Without this fallow time, nature could not come out in her full splendor next Spring-with bountiful crops and glorious flowers.

We humans aren’t so different. We also need deep periods of stillness, rest, and “down time.” But our culture doesn’t really celebrate these things. With only 2 weeks of vacation a year at most jobs, there’s time for little more than a few family visits or a quick vacation.

So we keep pushing and pushing. And many of us, including me, have ended-up with adrenal burnout. I was reading an article recently where it stated that approximately 80% of people today will experience adrenal fatigue in their lifetime. Wow. That’s at the level of an epidemic (which it’s become). So it’s touching most of us these days.

So if you want to keep up your big, bright life. If you want to fully show-up for your family and your friends; if you want to make a big difference, you have really got to REST my friends. And nurture yourselves! This is not selfish behavior, but totally REQUIRED for folks who are going to be putting out a lot into the world. And I know a bit about all of you-you GIVE a lot. And you’ll burnout FOR REAL if you don’t charge up those batteries.

So here’s my suggestions of key holiday gifts to YOURSELF. If you fill up your own cup so that you are radiant and abundant, this will be nothing but FABULOUS for you, your family, and your work.

Devaa’s Top 10 Tips For Holiday Self-Nurturance.

1. Sleep a lot! I highly recommend averaging 9-10 hours of sleep per night-at least for a little while. You might think I am a total sloth or off my rocker, but just try it for a few days. You will thank me later.
2. Get regular bodywork (a.k.a. massage). Not just once a year on your birthday. If I can, I go every other week (and my husband goes weekly-even with his full-on job as CEO of Shift Network).
3. Take a day of Sabbath. I suggest every week, but at least every other week. When I say “Sabbath,” I mean a day with no plans, no “home projects,” no laundry. Just a day where you get to do whatever would bring you the greatest joy or satisfaction in the moment. Yoga class? Spontaneous hike? Read a book? If you have kids, you will probably need to drop them at a friend’s house for the day to make it possible. And you can reciprocate the favor the next week. For more on this topic, check out this book I mentioned above called Sabbath by Wayne Muller.
4. Uplevel your fragrance with essential oils. We all want to smell yummy, but I encourage you to toss a few of those chemical perfumes and opt for some essential oils. My new favorite is a blend of rose and sandalwood from Amma, the hugging saint from India. It’s on sale at her shop for $28 and makes a great holiday gift too. Get it here: http://www.theammashop.org/complete-body/  
5. Expand in front of the fire. Let yourself just lay on the floor in front of a cozy fire with a lot of pillows and some blankets. This can be a great opportunity to expand your consciousness and engage your intuition. I like to ask deep soul questions into the fire, then watch for the shapes and images that appear in the flames. One can interpret those images as answers to the questions posed-a beautiful collaboration between you and the greater Spirit of life.
6. Try a weekly yin yoga class at a local studio. For those of you unfamiliar with yin yoga, this is not a dynamic faced-paced yoga-cize class for fat burning. No, not at all. It’s more like doing a restorative “nap time” in some gentle stretch positions, but with lots of props and support. Now entering the chill zone!
7. Support your spirit with flower essences. Those who are energetically sensitive will especially notice the effects. I’ve been using a common blend called “Rescue Remedy” made by Bach. But I’ve also started using their Olive Flower, which is said to be good for when you feel overwhelmed (like right now!). You can get both online at www.amazon.com
8. Take long baths. After a stressful day, my favorite activity is a long bath with candle light and some mellow music (like my new Sacred Alchemy Album !) I have been using Epson salts in my bath for years, and they are great. But after a recent class with Grandmother Flordemayo, she suggested adding healing herbs to the bath-like Rosemary-which I happen to have in my backyard. But you could use other healing herbs that are local to your environment too. Let yourself soak for a good while-at least 30 minutes (I usually end-up in there for an hour until I am too pruned and have to get out).
9. Enjoy a coconut lube job. After that long bath I mentioned above, try topping it off with an slippery layer of coconut oil-straight out of the food pantry! It’s especially nice if you take time to apply it slowly to your body, imagining you are sending love to every part of your body as you apply the oil. This oil will leave your skin feeling so soft and supple, and it can be used at night in your hair-if it’s dry or color treated. It’s also an amazing (and inexpensive) personal lubricant. And it smells and tastes great! You can get it at a health food store and is usually found near the olive oil. Mmmm…
10. Celebrate the Winter Solstice 12/22.  Winter Solstice is the longest night of the year. It’s a time to celebrate the darkness and its stillness, while celebrating our connection to the Earth and the return of the light.  On this night we have an opportunity to name and release those situations or patterns which are ready to be “lost into the night.”  We have an opportunity to symbolically die and reborn.You might check around in your local area to see if there’s a local Winter Solstice gathering, or create your own alone or with friends. For those in the San Francisco Bay Area of California USA, I will be co-creating a Winter Solstice Ritual in San Rafael, CA. Click here for details.If you are open to a more Pagan vibe, Reclaiming has communities around the world that often often solstice rituals. To find a local Reclaiming community in your area, check out http://www.reclaiming.org/worldwide/index.html

Okay beautiful people, that’s all for now. I look forward to reconnecting with y’all-rested and radiant-very soon!

I was hosting a conversation with Lynne Twist, author of The Soul of Money, who has been a friend and mentor to me. One of the simple things she said really stuck. She said “what we appreciate, appreciates.”

In saying this, she meant that wherever we put our energy and attention, it will grow.  For example, if we focus on the people and situations in our life for which we are grateful, we will experience more of those situations.  On the other hand, if we focus on the negative, that too will expand.

It’s a simple concept, yet its so relevant for this time of year.

For despite all the Hallmark images, coming together with family can actually be quite challenging for many people. We imagine this is supposed to be a wonderful, celebratory holiday time. And when our life shows up with something different, we usually feel sad or disappointed. We may year for a different sort of connection with our family. We might wish we had greater intimacy or more true friends.

And while it all may be true on some level, I would suggest choosing to look through different lenses.  Remember Lynne’s words, “what you appreciate, appreciates.” So as difficult as your family may be at times, what one or two things can you really appreciate?  Though your day may not be ideal, what does evoke your gratitude?

There’s so many folks on our planet who, very sadly, don’t have enough food to eat today.  While, in contrast, my own dinner table is so very plentiful.

So while I am quite sure my Thanksgiving today will have challenges (I am headed to a family gathering), I want to appreciate the deep abundance in my life–beginning with all the food that will be so lovingly prepared.   I want to acknowledge how blessed I feel to be doing work that I love with a husband who so deeply supports my mission.

I am grateful for people like YOU who are part of a loving community of people who are conscious and care about creating a better planet.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SMALL & BIG CONTRIBUTIONS THAT YOU MAKE EACH DAY.  FOR YOU, I AM GRATEFUL!

Blessings,
Devaa